Jag kan ha fel... /Björn Natthiko Lindeblad

Ja, tänk om man skulle kunna sluta att värdera varje situation eller känsla i kroppen utan bara acceptera?

Stay present read signs, do tapas, and be grateful for what you have!

He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have, Socrates

In Yoga philosophy you have the word "Santosha" as my friend like to remind me of;  Santsoha is not only a café here in Mysore where you can have breakfast Hanna, it has a larger meaning as well.  

The word comes from sanskrit and "Sam" would stad for, complete or full. "Tosha" mening is contentment, satisfied with. Santosha is an emotional state one should aim for to be satisfied with the fundamentals in life. To take away desire and expectations to be in peace what whatever the result turns into. Its about accepting the circumstances in a situation and not act with frustration or anger.

Just some thoughts;
We aim so much for something so high as happiness and being in love, finding the true love of our life, living on a constant high, we can't find the middle way and we feel depressed. We look around and think everyone else is much more happier then us. I know life can not always be easy all the time. When I see happy people on social media I am happy for them, not jealous, coz I know we all face hard times in life. We like to share the good times and I am thankful for that. Its up to the prospectors view to not judge and be aware that life can not always be happy moments and experiences all the time. I don't think we need to express our deepest griefs with everyone to make it ok for other people to understand everyone suffers sometimes. Its like being physical ill, we do have professional help and it should be as normal to go and talk to someone about our mental state as seeing a doctor for your physical health. The big reason I think for peoples depressions and todays huge nr of mental unhealth, rots in this lack of understanding the theory of contentment "Santosha". People looking for happiness and it creates this need, and desire. We are not happy with what we have and we seam to focus on what we don't have instead of what we have. My belief is that if I focus on what I am grateful for, life just unfolds. The spiral of positivity goes upwards. Contentment is a stable kind of happiness that will not depend on anything else then from within you, not the weather or you partner for example. But you need to put in the work everyday, every moment, every relationship. When you create this vibration within you people start to like being around you. Its not like one have it or dose´t have it, its how much conciseness and presents you can create to work on this concept. For me its a constant reminder every time I step on my mat in the morning to be present and to be grateful for another day. Its a constant reminder everyday that I need to do on my mat, for me to become more of that energy that I try to create.  

Sometimes I wonder if I would have the same mindset even if i didn't have my practice in the mornings. And I don't know. Muaythai and my life as a fighter made me realize a lot about myself. I became a fighter, I fought with my-slef all the time. Everything that came easy for me I thought was a waist of time. I believe now that whatever you put your energy on you will become. Its a good quality to have this fighting spirit in you, but not all the time. You need to lear to let go. Sometimes when you learn to let go everything unfolds as it should be. To learn how do balance you mind, then everything els will also become more balanced in you life. Yoga and muaythai thought me so much about life and relationships, that I bring with me through my journey.

Life is hard sometime you have to do stuff you don't like. People have this image of yogis as being soft and never really pushes through or fight anything in life, but thats not true, there is a lot of tappas in yoga. Tappas that you need to do and go through for you to understand better. But also learn to let go and surrender as well, its a hard balance. 

Tapas would be explained as your discipline or austerity. The sanskrit world "Tap" would be translated to "to burn" so Tappas is a form of a fiery discipline. To keep a steady self-discapline in life. The self-discapline will brun your impurities mentally, emotionally, and physically. You can't love going to you mat everyday to practice, you can't love having to make dinner to your family everyday or go to work. But you do it anyway. I don't love sitting outside the Shala gate at 3 am in the morning to wait for an 1 h so I can get to practice with Sharath but I do it. Its a kind of tappas. 

Life is this great journey with so many great lessons for us to discover, if we just everyday stay present and try to create this higher level of conciseness, life will become more smooth and peaceful.
When I was a kid I remember being very scared of everything and one period I was so afraid to die or get some kind of decease. Then my aunt told me; Hanna if you stay present the universe always let you know with signs before something will happened. If you learn to read the signs then you will be able to change the outcome. It made me very calm and I remember to always try and make sens of what the universe wanted me to understand. It might sounds very spiritual but its not, or maybe it just what it is. But trusting this theory from my aunt I became so calm, relaxed and present that nothing really bothered me, maybe coz I felt like I had a bit more control over life. 

So, stay present read signs, do tapas and be grateful for what you have.

Santosha and Tappas is explained in Patantjali second limb of the eight limbs of Ashtanga yoga, the Niyamas. Nr 2 Santosha and 3th Tappas.

Happy new year

My last practice is done for 2015. Feels weird to leave 2015 behind, as the attached girl I am I like everyting to be as it use to be and fear time will runout too fast. Tomorrow its 2016, wow. Trying to focus on how everything gets better with time and change is the only constant right? I read a nice text yesterday from day1yoga, think it was her birthday yesterday. She made this promise to herself long ago. She will only get better with age, stronger, more energetic, healthier, wiser... I post a picture of her text below so you can read it all.

I try and picture myself as a much better person by every year, and it makes my mind a bit more calm. As time speeds up I know one thing that grows stronger inside of me, and its how thankful I am to be here on this earth and together with so many awesome people. Everyday I try to go on my mat and the first thing that comes to my mind when I put my hands together in prayer pose, or Namasthe is to be THANKFUL for everything I got and try and keep that mindset thou out the hole day. Thankful for being here and have this great opportunity to learn.

I thought Sharath would keep me at Kapotasana for a while but yesterday he told me Supta Vajrasana, got happy. Thought now this will be the last asana for this month. Began my backbends after getting help with Supta Vajrasana today, then I heard Sharath say "Bakasana". Didn't again think he was speaking to me but as he touch my leg and said YOU, I figured he was talking to me.  You do Bakasana B. Ohh shit. Its been 2 month I haven't practice jumping into Bakasana and today I was infront of the stage as well. Been fearing to jump into Bakasana B infront of that stage as I heard people hitting the face on the edge of it. No time to think just do it I thought to myself, and I jumped straight into my armpits and stayed there. I was surprised with myself, its not everyday I do it on the first try but today having Sharath there and the stage-edge, I did it.

It was a good last practice of 2015. I am realdy to leave 2015 behind me. Thankful for everything I learned over the year, new friends I made, old friends I made unforgettable memories with, my family thats healthy and suports me always. Thank you 2015 lets kick of 2016!      
And you peeps, that will celebrate New years at 12.00 a clock in Sweden, think about me coz I should just be about to step on my mat to start my practice, might even have done a few sun salutations already ;)

Re registered for January

Today we had led class 4.15 am, Shala time 4.00 am. Got my spot, sounds really bad but I love that no one els likes my spot, hehe. Felt really strong and flexible so it was a good practice. In the led classes Sharath nowadays got a microphone. He walks around and counts the vinyasas. He walk past me a few times and then suddenly he stopped and said, "Old mat, get a new one" I know he was taking to me. My mat been used a lot and I had it for a while. Its a Lululemon travel mat. I love it. When my mum been telling me I should buy a new one I tell her that this mat is just not a normal mat, I love it, we been thru a lot together, many ups and downs. It takes a while to develop this kind of relationship ;)

Well now I had to go and buy me a new mat. I am a bit nervous how we will bound tomorrow in practice. Hopefully it will have a happy ending.

Aslo today I re registered. Payed for my last month and got my timing changes. Without asking for it Sharath gave me 4,30 am batch, for my Mysore style practice. He knows I been coming early last month when I was in the 5 am batch so maybe thats why he change it. Thought he would put me in a later batch just because I been so early but he change it to 4,30 am luckily, think it a good sign.

                               My lovely old mat

   

Mysore class

This is how it looks like entering into a "Mysore style" class in the mornings. You hear Sharath calls out "one more, two more, small one " Lately I been really lucky coz there been no people in line before me so I can just go straight in at 4,30 am. There's been spots free coz of less people in the batch before me. But I been a bit too early 😮🙈 As long long as Sharath is not telling me off I think it's ok.

After conference at Saturday they were supposed to remove the old rug on the flor in the Shala. It was such a coullerful mat. It's  weird, that the next practice in the Shala will feel like beeing in a different room 😮😤 But as my friend reminded me of, "change is the only constant"

I did not take this photo I took it from the internet 🙈😇 wouldn't dare too. 😜

Merry Christmas from Mysore

Time goes so fast here. The week is soon over and Christmas is not far away now. In the beginning of this month it was a bit crazy. The shala was crowded with people. I realized thats how it is in the beginning of every month. Sharath needs to figured out how many people in each batch then he can adjust peoples timings, I guess. I change my practice time to 5 am which is much better then the 6 am batch. At 6 it was crowed with people and it took time before I got in and got a spot. Now its super nice, almost just go straight in and get a spot, yay. One morning earlier this month, the led class were so crowded with people that some had to leave and wait until next batch. They didn't fit, not even in the changing rooms.

I am now used to "fighting" for a spot in the led classes, well no one really likes the spot I like, so I always get it anyway. Before the gates open in the morning everyone is a bit eager to get in and get a good spot but there is no hard feeling, everyone smiles and laughs at the situation most of the time, and I do understand people wants an ok spot to practice at.

It’s a challenge for me to join this big community that the main shala has. Often I think, this is crazy why am I here?  but you get used to it. The community is a huge one and its been developing for many years. There are so many students coming to practice and a lot of good teacher has over the years been created within this system. As more and more people practice and wants to come and learn from Sharath the system has to change. Sharath did explain why the new rule has appeared, that you have to been studying with a Authorised teacher for minimum two month, before coming to Sharath, and it makes sense. New students will have more fundamentals before coming to study with Sharath in Mysore now, and Sharaths teachers that he developed will work with them before coming here.   

It must be hard to organize so everyone in this big community feels like they do benefit and learn. But in the end its an inner journey that always goes back to yourself and how you realize and learn from your inner. The teacher is there to guide you not holding your hand. 

From earlier this month;

Looking forward to next week and hopefully Sharath will give me some new poses  , this week I have got until Prashva Dhanurasana. Im very happy with that progress. It’s still only the beginning of my second month with Sharath, so its moving forward pretty fast I feel. Sharath helped me in the backbends last Friday and as he stood infront of me he asked me what my last pose was, I said Parshva...........with along pause. Got so nervous so Dhanurasana just didn't come to my mouth. He got disappointed and told me to not just say half the asana name, well now I am trying to repeat all the names once a day so when he asks me next time it will easy come to my mouth.

Yesterday, Sharath gave me Kapotasana. Think this will be my last pose for this month, and I am super happy with the progress. I still got a month ahead of me and I am looking forward to see how far into second serie I will get. But I am not rushing. It feels good to have been on primary for a long time now. I feel its been beneficial for me, as I need to work on my strength everyday. But of course  have to admit I am happy when I am moving forward as well. 

Many friends will leave Mysore in the end of this month, but new one will arrive for sure. Its always hard when friends leave and you don't know when you will see them again. This been my life as long as I can remember, having friends from all over the world and I don't know when I will see them again. But I need to be positive and appreciate the time we have together and believe that our roads will cross again if its meant to be. I am very lucky to have so many good friends that I keep on meeting along my journey.

Happy Christmas everyone!

Where did the music go?